HAPPY PEOPLE GET DEPRESSED

      Depression is a common but serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working. 

   
Hey readers!!! don't know how to really start typing but will start from somewhere. What happens when the one person who lights up the room becomes a shadow of herself? So i'm a really happy girl, bringing smiles to people's face, the life of the party kindda lady. im that person who will always make you smile, take your pain and give you so much joy ( not trying to exaggerate o) People that know me can testify to this. something is going on with me and i felt the only way i can heal or get over it is to channel my anger to blogging. So i am depressed!! like really battling with it. some people would have start saying '' we rebuke it for you in JESUS name''. but that wouldn't change the fact that i am. so i tried something stupid which was the only thing i could think of at that time, i took blade and cut my wrist (which i'm suffering for at the moment cos my arm dey pepper me). dont want to go into details of what led me to it yet but will blog about it some other day.
     I can remember talking to 3 people on my whatsapp one time like that, and these people asked me if i ever get sad, do i even ever cry( even though ayam a cry baby) bcos of my energy and im always happy, laughing, making jokes (pratically jokes too much dat i don't even know when i'm serious). sometimes we dont know what people are bottling up inside all we can see is what they choose to show us. I guess the only thing that got me back to my senses was when i thought of what my mama will feel if i had die, and then my brother sent me something 'you are strong, u strong pass ds one na, life is worth fighting for so keep fighting and dont quit. so little soldier wipe your tears, have a shower and sleep'. im a Christian so all i could mutter yesterday was ''HOLY SPIRIT comfort me, i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me''. sometimes as a really happy person we find it hard to confide in people for fear of bn judged or we dont really see the right people to dump our talk on. but then when we say u cant understand you prolly cant understand ( and don't come with the phrase of we understand, do u know what we've bn thru too, nobody is doing competition of pain, urs is different from mine n vice versa).

     I'm a work in progress and i realised that God puts us thru difficult times so as we can use our stories to make others learn from it. i planned to deal with my depression by talking to God, because HE's the only one that can get me and help me, i'll listen to lots of gishgish music, no slow motion songs, i will focus on self improvement ( owe that to myself), it's difficult but it's possible, will find a small opening out of the darkness, that i'm sad doesn't make me half a christian, it only makes me human and i can't be strong every time.
   Finally, before i drop my mic if you are depressed, hold onto what makes you happy( for me, i'll cook, keep making jokes, and listening to music and sleep abeg) just talk to the right people,  stay away from certain people/places delibrately, equip yourself so when you see the signs you will know. Not really over it, still keeping my feelings to myself, but i'll be okay. i know healing starts when we starts talking about it which i've done. Grateful to those who checked up on me.. tankx ooo... we will not repay eashoda with ds o.
   have a lovely week ahead beautiful people
    XOXO